I have a friend with a farm.

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I was trying to channel Isak Dinesen's line, "I had a farm in Africa..." This friend COULD have a farm in Africa or anywhere the hell else she wants vegetables to grow. If she wanted vegetables to grow on your couch, grow they would. She is almost all-powerful. She can't prescribe medication in the state of Ohio like I can, but aside from that, I can't think of a single thing she can't do.

She has a recipe on her website today, a skeleton of a recipe, really, for ratatouille. Her site is worth checking out if you are interested in gardening, have ever looked at a garden or wondered what it might be like, especially if you are interested in community gardening. She knows everything. EVERYTHING. I mighta mentioned her before. And the recipe makes me want to grab some warm pita and dig right in. At this time of the summer, when tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini are everywhere, and an eggplant can certainly be had SOMEWHERE, make this. Put some in the freezer. In February, when it's cold, gray, depressing, and you think your mortal soul is in peril, thaw your summer goodness. You'll make it another week, I promise.

Too Much Garden Bounty? Ratatouille to the Rescue!

Slim Jim is icky

From Slashfood today, serious grossness. You know how that old "What are little boys made of" rhyme? Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails? Turns out that's a Slim Jim through and through:

Perhaps not as appetizing as it seemed at first, the second ingredient on the list, "mechanically separated chicken," is, according to the USDA, "a paste-like and batter-like meat product produced by forcing bones with attached edible meat under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue.

Ah, yes, perhaps not as appetizing as it seemed at first, second, third, or 99th.

Yes, please. Immediately.

This sauce seems divine. Must try soon.

Asian Shrimp Cocktail

Smitten Kitchen does it again!

These get an 8/10 on the Food Swoon scale.

Read about 'em and get the recipe at:

Peach cupcakes with brown sugar frosting

Wine Bottle Torch

It might be that you have some empty wine bottles laying around. I might. Well, it's likely that I do. It's likely that I have a few laying around with wine still in them. Today I chance upon (via Lifehacker) these gems. AS IF I needed an excuse to drink the wine!

Read all about it, then race to both the wine and hardware store for a very lovely DIY Monday project:

Recycled Wine Bottle Torch

Grilled Pizza

Yesterday for dinner we had grilled pizza. It was fabulous, and I made it in maybe 20 minutes flat. It was loved by the grown-ups and the kids in mi casa. My inspiration was from Martha Stewart Living this month. Today, though, I chanced upon something I might have to try this coming week from Smitten Kitchen: Grilled Eggplant and Olive Pizza. Hold the phone, Ethel, Deb's recipe looks fabulous, but not quite as easy as mine, particularly when you are rolling in the door with two hungry and cranky small people at 5:45pm who should have eaten about 5:30pm. Her picture looks better than mine, though, so I'm using hers. Plus she's more talented and generally more wonderful.

In any event, here's what I did to have dinner on plates by 6:10pm.

Oops. Forgot. I had prep the night before. I pulled two loaves of frozen bread dough (from the grocery store) out of the freezer and put it in a covered bowl in the fridge. That's it.

Next day at 5:45pm I walked in the door and pulled the bread dough out of the fridge. I threw it on the counter and punched it down. Actually, I did threw the bread on the counter to punch it down after I punched the glass in the glass bowl and screamed. Then I ran upstairs to change my clothes.

Once downstairs in my bad-lady attire, I flipped on the grill to high. I generously oiled two baking sheets (say 2-3T on each), and on one stretched out the dough slowly. Stretch, rest, stretch rest. There's so much gluten in the dough that you have to kinda work with the elastic and give it time to relax before you can stretch it again.

During rest cycles I cut zucchini and yellow squash--one of each--into 1/2 inch slices. I threw them on one baking sheet and tossed them in a bit more olive oil, then salt and pepper. If I'd had them I would have used green onions, too. I also threw about oh, 6 or 7 ounces of fontina cheese in the food processor to grate.

Once I had the pizza dough stretched out (about 12" x 18") I flipped it over so that both sides would be oiled. Then I let it rest again while I threw the veges on the grill to cook until lightly charred. They came off the grill and were set aside after I squeezed two halves of a lemon over them. As soon as they came off the dough got flopped on the hot grates. Top down, then, after three or four minutes I flipped it over, threw the cheese on top, then closed the grill and let it cook another three or four minutes. Off the cheesy pizza came.

Once inside I tossed on about 2 ounces of crumbled feta, about a half pound of cleaned pre-packaged, seemingly E. coli-free baby spinach, and topped it all with the whole grilled vegetables. The veges wilted the spinach and the whole thing was a gorgeous meat-free meal in one. There was plenty left over for lunch today.

Pesto, basil, rosemary--any of these would have been welcome additions to a straightforward and easy after-work meal.

Bread pudding worthy of killing a guy for

From Simply Recipe archives

Bread Budding

I'm not sure about a big dish of bread pudding on a hot summer day, but I could probably force myself. If Elise says this is the best ever, I believe her, however, I believe my pumpkin bread pudding with ginger-infused cream could give her a run for her money. But mine is more of a holiday delicacy. I will give her the nod for every day other than holiday.